The Sound of Silence

Sit in silence. Take a deep breath. Notice your breath going in and out. Repeat.

And let the magic begin. Sounds too good to be true, right? I felt the same. But I tried it. It's not too bad I tell you. Not too bad :)

Meditation has become close to my heart especially because:

• we are living in trying times and mental health is important 

• I've spent a lot of time reading fascinating books written by PhDs and MDs in Neuroscience, Neurobiology, and Psychiatry. Thanks to fMRI machines and advancement in tech in the last 15-20 years we now have numerous and increasing prolific research studies to conclusively support the claims of the benefits, ergo - we don’t have to trust the often exaggerated and mystical claims from Yogis and religious gurus about the benefits.

• having practiced meditation for the last ~1.5 years, I can feel the positive change it has brought in my life as well.

I hope to share some of this with you. But before we start, it is important to acknowledge what gives Meditation a bad name. 

• Religion - There is always a religious color to meditation especially colors of Hinduism and Buddhism. At the heart of it, meditation is a technique. That’s it. No religion can call dibs on it. That’s like saying gravity is Christian because Newton was a Christian.

• False claims - This is pretty straightforward. Those who are selling meditation as a product are incentivized to make tall claims, sometimes as tall as meditation cures cancer - while that could still be true, the evidence isn’t there yet.

But before we dive deep into “Why Meditation” let’s think about why we even want to ask or answer this question. What is the point? What is the point of anything? Now if we keep going deeper in this line of thought, we will hit the existential depths that lead us to "What is the meaning and purpose of life?" While that’s definitely the most fundamental question to ask, I don’t have the wherewithal (yet) to discuss it. So I'll stick to a simpler question:

What is it that we want from our lives? Or, what are we trying to maximize in our lives? More money, fame, power? The usual answer is, our very old friend - Happiness, which is close enough. But I find “well-being” to be a better goal than happiness. I feel one can have a life of well-being even if one is not always happy. Happiness is a subset of well-being (this could be a whole separate topic for another day). Anyway, these are petty semantics. You can call it happiness, joy, or well-being as long as they represent the same thing.

Well-being can be both physical and mental, and both are in some way linked as well, but for today let’s stick to mental well-being. So what exactly is the well-being of the mind - simply put, it is a state of equanimity & balance, where we don’t merely exist, we “thrive” both within & with deep relationships outside, AND we have resilience to stay centered when tested by the vicissitudes of life, be it highs or lows. (All the stoics reading this give me a high-five)

So, full points for guessing what I am going to say next.

Meditation helps in living a life of well-being. 

Sure there are other benefits such as increased focus, better productivity, increased EQ, etc. but those are 2nd order benefits. That's like using Thor to open jammed lids from cans. It's great, but not that fundamental.

We first need to understand the important difference between the brain and the mind. Because at the core of mental well-being are our brains & minds, and the interplay between them. 

Got it from the pic? No? Duh! Okay, okay. Let me explain. 

Brain is an organ, a physical entity. Mind is not. Some describe it as a stream of consciousness, or the set of mental faculties we have. There is still very little we know. In the book “Mindsight” the author says,

Mind is a process

a process through which we experience our subjective reality, our emotions, each moment, and hence our daily lives. So the “quality of life” or our well-being, is effectively driven by the mind, this process of experiencing reality every moment. It’s not for nothing that we keep hearing, if you want to be 'happy', look within. 

The different parts of our brain (eg. cerebral cortex, prefrontal cortex, etc.) control different emotions - fear, anxiety, love, anger, etc. The mind is the process by which we experience these experiences, these emotions and hence our subjective reality. The structure of our brain affects this process (i.e. our minds). Eg. if for a person the amygdala (fear centre of the brain) is enlarged, then “fear” (of loss, rejection, ridicule, etc.) will constantly be a prominent part of this process. Any time they are faced with a tricky situation, they’ll experience fear, anxiety, increased heart rate, sweaty palms, release of cortisol, etc. Ergo, the well-being will take a hit. 

The structure of our brain is affected by 3 things:

1. Our genetics - not in our control 

2. Our childhood - the initial formative years, our childhood experiences and our upbringing plays a HUGE role in shaping up the structure of the brain. Again, most of us are already past childhood, nothing  much we can do here. 

3. Our ongoing experiences - Every experience (or external stimulus) creates a synaptic connection or a neural firing pattern. These patterns determine how we experience that experience. Every time that experience happens, it strengthens those synaptic connections and the response gets codified in the process. It becomes the “algorithm” of the process i.e. the algorithm of the mind. It is precisely because of these algorithms that we say - the mind has a mind of its own.

Simple example - when my wife Gazal and I are walking side by side and a dog runs towards us, Gazal feels love and affection towards the dog and I feel fear, panic and anxiety. How can the same dog create such contrasting emotions in 2 people? It’s because Gazal has had positive experiences of love and affection with dogs during childhood, and those synaptic connections got strengthened over time. And I have had terrible experiences with dogs during my childhood, and the same continued later too, so every time I see one, my amygdala takes over and all I feel is fear and anxiety. In my case the external stimulus of an incoming dog creates and strengthens this synaptic connection. Her codified mind algorithm for this is Incoming dog = Love = Aww. And mine is, Incoming dog = Fear = Run faster than Usain Bolt. 

Because of the above 3 factors, all of us have different brain structures, hence different algorithms or processes, and hence we all live and experience life differently.  Each brain and each mind is truly unique. The imbalances of the brain are also very unique.

So what’s the whole point of knowing about the brain and this interplay with our mind. 

Think about it, if our 'quality of life' = well being = how our minds work in each moment and the mind is a process, then like any process, we can improve it. More importantly, it is in our control. Which means, our well-being is in our control. And this is very empowering. The externalities of life are often not in our control. But the way we respond to these externalities, is. But can we really change our brains, and hence our minds?

Yes. 

Neuroplasticity - there is conclusive proof now that our brain structures can change = our algorithms/process i.e. mind can change. And, we have control over that change. 

That’s where meditation comes in. The simple practice of looking in the infinite space within and being aware/mindful of the inner self and your thoughts. And when you practice enough, it becomes the de facto way that your mind works even when you are not meditating. 

So we finally come to the benefits of meditation or mindfulness. There is comprehensive scientific proof now that meditation:

1. brings structural change to our brains so that various parts can work in harmony with each other AND we have control over the algorithms. Ergo, lesser stress, anxiety, fear and more equanimity.

2. gives you awareness

1. Eg. for a person with an overdeveloped amygdala (i.e. fear centre of the brain) as soon as they face a particularly troubling situation, meditation helps them become more aware of the emotion of fear as soon as they experience it, and then respond to it appropriately. Meditation also develops the part of the brain that is associated with building resilience. So the next time you face an adversity (eg. a yelling boss, loss in business, late delivery of your food, an “unreasonable” demand from your partner, etc.), you are automatically able to respond to it better without losing your inner balance. Because it is not the yelling boss that troubles you, increased heart rate and anxiety i.e. the physiological response to yelling that affects your well-being. As you meditate, you get aware of those physiological responses and recognize their energy signature in the body during that moment itself and you are able to control it to maintain equanimity. It is almost a superpower to have that control over your thoughts and emotions.  

2. Being more aware has far-reaching benefits than just improved productivity at work and achieving peak performance. When you are truly aware and in the moment in your interaction with people, it helps build deeper relationships. It is well established that deep meaningful relationships are the core to our well-being. 

3. More importantly, it helps you build a deeper relationship with yourself. It helps you be aware of your own algorithms, your own weakness, and work upon it.

4. More and more research has proven that a wandering mind = “unhappy” mind. We all are thinking all the time. It is not the thinking itself that is bad, it is thinking without thinking and without awareness that is bad. When you are aware, your mind is more fertile to ideas. As I said, The power to be aware, focused and in control, is almost a superpower. 

5. Being aware helps you get more out of each experience. The same sip of beer or that bite of tasty slice of pizza will feel much more fulfilling when you are mindful while having it. You feel joy from the small things that you might have thus so far ignored.

3. helps you build positive attributes such as kindness, compassion, empathy. The world can definitely do with more of these.

So, now when a doggu approaches me, rather than being swept away by fear, I automatically am in more control, I automatically take a deep breath and avoid fear. And sometimes, no matter the deep breaths, I still get chased and I automatically run for my life. Sigh, it’s a slow process of change.

Now you can say, "I don’t need meditation. I already have a good command on my mind and my thoughts". If that’s true, then genuinely, good for you, and we should all aspire to achieve your state of mind. But honestly, it’s truly very difficult to be in control over your minds without investing efforts into it. You can tell a sad person - "Don’t be sad" - but it most likely won’t work. Such tactical interventions are never sustainable anyway. The better way is for the sad/angry person to gear their internal processes so that when they encounter something that can make them sad/angry, they can take a step back, be aware of that incoming emotion and control it. And repeat. And all that has to happen on auto-pilot i.e. the internal ecosystem has to be geared that way. 

So, if you want more well-being and you aspire to “thrive”, for better relationships, more resilience, better performance at work, you should give it a try. It costs nothing. Except time, 10-20 mins/day. But it will give you much more in return. You’ll probably see the benefit in as early as 6-8 weeks.

Don’t take my word for it. Try it :)

P.S. 1 - Some other practices that help in our well-being (in no particular order) = exercise, healthy food, novel experiences, learning something new. 

P.S. 2 - An efficient way for achieving well being is to take therapy. Good therapists use meditation as one of the tools. Also, therapy is not just for people with severe issues eg. depression, anger, etc. Even relatively healthier minds can benefit from it and achieve greater well-being.